This is Not Goodbye

There should be a college class that teaches you how to say goodbye. I don’t care who you are, when it comes to the people you cherish most, saying goodbye is a challenge. I've never been in a situation quite like this. It’s fresh, exciting, and has me on my toes. A big part of me is so thrilled for this new chapter… Another part of me is pained with worry and disbelief.

I’m convinced that my insides are coated with butterflies. When people ask me how I’m feeling, I tell them I’m both excited and nervous. It’s like that feeling you get when you take that leap off a cliff into the lake. That brief moment your heart skips a beat when you hear “enjoy your ride” and the roller coaster jets off taking you with it. It’s the anticipation. That rush of euphoria. 

I’m so full of emotions right now, they’re all colliding together and rushing to the surface. Some good and some bad. I’m trying my best to face the one at a time. There’s this hole inside me that’s aching as I realize what’s about to unfold. How do you leave the ones you love for two years? I feel so torn up inside. I don’t want to leave them behind. I can feel a part of me breaking. It hurts. So much.

Knowing the great people I’m leaving behind only strengthens my resolve to make it back home someday. I look at their faces and try my best to immortalize them in my mind. My skin may be clean, but my heart is permanently stained with tattoos of the people I love. Please know that I’m not abandoning any of you. I hope you’ll think of me often, because I’ll be thinking of you. I know there will be nights that tears will drench my pillow in thought of you. I’ll close my eyes and dream of home and hope that one day we will meet again…

Ok that’s enough sap. I got a little carried away there. Sorry. The point is, I just want you all to know how much you mean to me. I won’t be forgetting you, so don’t even worry about that. And it’s not like I’ll be dead. And it’s not the end of the world… although, I will still be gone IF the world actually ends in 2012. Crossing my fingers and hoping it doesn't. I still have a lot of unfinished business to attend to. In reality, this is not a goodbye, just a farewell for now. I’m committed to what I’m doing, and intend to put my whole heart into the work. I’ll miss You.

Fight the Good Fight,
-Garett  

No, this is not goodbye.

Back from Outer Space.

Oh hey guys, I don't know if you remember me... It's been a while. SORRY!

(via: Goodmorning & Goodnight)

I haven't really been into the whole "document-every-minute-of-your-life" thing lately. I've been pretty busy trying to keep my head above water with this whole college thing. Turns out it's not as easy as I thought it was. Last semester didn't really set the bar very high. This semester is a lot tougher and I feel like free time is a rare commodity these days. Anyways, I feel like tonight calls for an update, so here you go.

Today was the 2nd of March (I guess it's the 3rd as I write this but oh well) and I'm really glad to be done with February. I've never been a big fan of February. First off, I don't like how the phonics of the word and spelling are flipped. It's pronounced Feb-YOU-Airy, but spelling suggests you should say Feb-RUE-Airy. (But you shouldn't do that because you'll just end up sounding like Scooby Doo.) It's like the word has a secret agenda or something. Secondly, this month decided that it get's to cut the corners and skip out a few days early. What the heck's up with that? Obviously February has some commitment issues. The third issue I have with February is the fact that it tries to compensate for being so messed up by offering the world a holiday for "love". Don't get me wrong, love is good and stuff, but really? Why do people need to set aside a day to bombard their loved ones with trivial heart covered gifts, assorted chocolates (there's usually only 3/12 chocolates worth eating) and showy flowers? It's not ok to pour out tons of commercial love on this one day and then save it all up for the next year. Love should be an constant thing. This list could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Hurray for March! I have a feeling like this one will come in like a lion and go out like a lamb.

So I think I've done a good job at getting my point across about how tough this semester has been. On the other hand, I haven't been doing the weekends justice. The weekends are what I live for these days. One has yet to disappoint me! Three weeks ago I took a trip to Vegas with Campbell, Moses, Krystle, and Kyle! This is us here standing next to a giant mirrored horse:

^The guy taking our picture wasn't really good so this is us next to a giant, headless, mirrored horse.

I look like I don't have a clue what's going on in this picture, which was probably true so it's whatever. On to what happened two weekends ago. Two weekends ago, I took a trip back home to visit my family. I had an the best traveling companion, Samara E. Jones. We had a lot of fun just on our way to and from Ogden! While up north, I saw all the kids in the picture above again (minus Kyle). We all got together on Saturday night to chill. While we were at Krystle's house, an inexperienced sophomore girl backed out of her driveway and side swiped my car. To be fair, there was a lot of wet snow on the ground and she more or less slid into my car, along with the 2 other parked cars behind mine. Whoops! I'm just glad it wasn't me. The good news is that her insurance will cover the damage, so Lucy should be back to normal in no time! Finally, last week I took a trip to SUU to visit my friends at Juniper Motel. I love visiting them, and we have fun every time. This time I got to meet Katy's friend Ivy and Katlin, and I got to see Dan and Nick as well. During this trip, we all nearly ODed on a 5lb bag of gummy bears, supported Katy and Pearl Toothy at their talent show, went to a crazy dance, and then stayed up until 9:30 am the next freaking day. They have this little slogan there where they call themselves "Beasts of the Night" and thinks it's really fun to deprive themselves of sleep at a normal time. Although, I do have to admit that we had a really fun time staying up! 

^Dan, Me, and Rakul Beyonce waiting for the talent show to start

I am planning on making another trip to SUU this weekend, so who knows what will happen this time?

The reason I mentioned the weekend was because tonight was like a mini one. It started out with me and Clay hitting the gym for an hour. Clay made me drink this protein power drink and it sucked because it made my skin all itchy. After the gym I met up with Beyonce and Toothy at Menchies Frozen Yogurt! It's basically a tradition now everrrtime they come to visit. Beyonce's friend met up with us there, and then we made an executive decision to grab a movie and watch it in the Canyonlands L-Shack. FYI the L in L-Shack does not stand for love, it stands for Laundry, aka the Laundry room. The reason I call it the "L-Shack" is because it sounds better, and really, it is a cool place to watch movies. There's surround sound, a leather sectional, and a big screen tv. Not what you expected in a laundry room, is it? We watched the horror film, Case 39, but pretty much ruined it because we talked through the whole thing, guessed the plot, and made jokes the entire time. Afterwards, everyone left and I went home to The Cave. Things are quit around here tonight, which is kinda unusual, but it's nice to be able to kick back and relax. I wish the famous Katy could have made an appearance tonight, but she was busy being a good friend. Guess I'll just have to wait to see her this weekend! 

That's it for tonight, so if you actually read this whole thing, congrats!
You've now reached the end. =)

Naturally Naive

"Cause I need freedom now, 

and I need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be."

~Mumford & Sons

^This is how I feel. But not just history. I feel this way about my Life.

The past few weeks have rushed together in a colorful blur, which has been mostly positive. I've just been settling back in to college life and my new schedule. My new sched is a BEAST! I feel like I'm at school allllll freeeeaakkkin daaay loooooong! =( I don't have a whole lot of down time, but that's a good thing right? That means I'm being productive. Or something. My most difficult classes on my plate are Calculus (put me out of my misery!) and Chemistry. So far, things aren't TOO bad, but I'm pretty sure this is just the calm before the storm.

I'm super excited for this weekend! This weekend I get to visit The Juni Crew at SUU! They're always so great to welcome me and let me spend the weekend. I love spending time with them at Juniper Motel. This weekend there's a NEON DANCE goin down, and I'm pretty sure we're gonna tear that place up!! (...or at least seriously injure it.)

Tonight, as I was sitting here when my roommate informed me of something pretty strange. I guess last night I started yelling really loud in my sleep! He said I was yelling so loud that it woke him up. I guess I was really angry about something and was yelling at some guy about it? I don't recall any of this and still don't know if I believe it. I never knew that I talked/yelled in my sleep. I wish I could remember my dream!

A Half Remembered Dream...

Right now, I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a beautiful disaster. I mean, I feel like things are about to crumble and make way for something new and wonderful. I have a lot of hope for my future. As I am taking steps forward in my education and life, I can also feel myself growing. Changing. It's a really good feeling. I'm starting to see things in a whole new light, and it's really helping me gain a new perspective.  I feel like a patient recovering from Amnesia. I've been asleep, but I'm finally waking up. The Truth's I once knew are coming back to me, piece by piece. So I'll take these pieces and I'll fit them together. One by one, until I've completed the puzzle and remember who I really am. =)

That's all of got for now! =)

Keeps Gettin' Better

Woa! Now that it's over, I feel like the time went by way too fast. I guess that's how it always is. What's that saying... "Time flies when your having fun" <--- Yeah, I think that's it. Time has definitely flown. Looking back at the past few weeks, I can definitely say I had fun. I was able to spend a lot of time with my family enjoying Christmas, and then a few days in Island Park, Idaho with snowmobiles. There was so much snow up there! 

See all the snow?! My brothers are digging a snow cave =)

We had a lot of fun up there, but I was really glad to leave it behind. This might come as a surprise to you but, -8 degrees Fahrenheit just isn't ok with me. After I got back, I was able to spend a ton of time with my friends. It was great catching up with everyone. I'm going to miss everyone when I leave tomorrow morning. I'm also gonna miss not having to play the hokey pokey with my WiFi connection.

So many good things happened over this break. Here's a few of them... (no particular order)

• Monster Nights ;)
• Gift giving/recieving
• Free food!
• Made new friends (Kaleigh, Nick, Casey, Kaylani)
• Became better friends with others (You know who you guys are)
• Saw my friend from the future (Kendra) and my friend from the past (Kelsey)
• New guitar =)
• Kinda sorta got hooked on Jersey Shore.... No big deal
• Good talks with friends
• Traded secrets with a Dove.
• Mario Wii & SCUM
• Only went to Denny's once. (And it was Cla$$y)
• Finished "Dorm Life"
• Got a this one Cat to start Tweeting...
• Started off a new year fresh
• Made good New Years resolutions
• Bonded with Lucy (the dog) I think she likes me now! 
• Gained a better appreciation for Life in general
• Learned how to handle frozen locks
• Sold my textbooks
• Inhaled tons and tons of polluted Ogden air  <--- Oops, that's BAD.

I'm sure there's a million other things I could add to my list, but really who has time for such things? I'm already starting to bore myself with this blog post. So I think I'll wrap things up now. This last week here was a good way to end things. I was out with friends every night, and I didn't get much sleep, but I enjoyed every minute of it. 

As I was driving home tonight, a huge bat flew past my window and I took it as a sign. It's time to go back to The Batcave, and tackle another semester in St. Geezy. 

How far is Heaven?

Thank you everyone who made the last few weeks great. 

I can't wait for Summer to bring us back together =)

Ghost of a Good Thing

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.”~Cesare Pavese

Well, everyone has been crackin' out their New Year's posts, so I figure I might as well punch mine in now...

^Sometimes I feel like this guy when I blog

Rather than bore you with the details and memoirs of my year 2010, I"m going to wrap it up in the next few lines, and skip ahead to here and now. The biggest event of significance in the year 2010 for me would be my graduation from FREMONT HIGH. I've got a lot of mixed emotions about that place. Like everyone else in existence, I had good times and bad times during high school. It was fun while it lasted but it refreshing to get on with one's life, which leads me to my second event of significance in the year 2010. I took a leap and moved away from home and started college at DIXIE STATE. So far, I have a majority of positive emotions about this place. Of course there have been a ton of other significant events from the past year to fill in the cracks (but you can go ahead and read about some of those in previous posts if that's what your heart desires). 

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life." 
~500 Days of Summer

If I were to title the year 2010, I would steal the title of a Secondhand Serenade CD: A Twist in My Story. That title fits perfectly with the events of 2010 for me. Looking back, I feel like it was definitely a year of twists and turns and things often changed quite unexpectedly... regardless, I survived (and if your reading this, that means you did too... congrats!).

^Something along these lines

Not knowing what's in store for this upcoming year, but purely based on my own predictions, I feel like giving 2011 the title: Our True Colors. You can determine for yourself what is meant by this title, and I suppose only time will tell if my title is appropriate. 

“Our past is a story existing only in our minds. Look, analyze, understand, and forgive. Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it.” ~Marianne Williamson

The holidays have been great and my time has been consumed with the typical family/friend bonding moments that accompany this time of year. I've really enjoyed spending time with the ones I love, and the measured time helps me appreciate them even more. I hardly realize how blessed I really am, but I'm trying to pay attention. 

This is my last week up here in the land of snow and ice. I am looking forward to returning to St. Geezy shortly, and really hope the weather doesn't disappoint. I have a very negative relationship with Winter, and cannot wait for Spring to bounce in (yeah I just did that, deal with it) and show her what's up! I've missed my roomies, our sweet little cave, friends, AND 25 Main (I didn't forget). 

^Our Sweet little cave looks something like this (let's just pretend)

Not so much the school work, but I guess that comes with the territory? Anyways, I suppose I'm looking forward to new classes as well and the new people I've yet to meet! I have a feeling I'll be hanging out with some pretty awesome people! Road trip with Katerblossom? =P

^There's no place like Home. =) 

As far as New Year's resolutions go, I didn't really make any at the time but here's what I want to work on this year:

1. Stop making room for Fear in my life.
   (Fear sucks, and inhibits everything. Nuff said)
2. Get my associates degree. (I should have it after the summer)
3. Repair broken bridges
4. Build new bridges (^If you take these last two literally, you're an idiot.)
5. Stop running from love (I'm ready for you)
6. Be more spontaneous
7. Write a song with my guitar
8. Meet Zooey D... (A guy can dream)
9. Hunt and Kill the Horcruxes in my life
10. Grow 2 inches (I just want to be 6 feet tall!)
11. Take more time to enjoy the Simple things.
12. Delete negative people from my life
13. Get into better shape
14. Stop texting while I drive... (It's illegal!)
15. Significantly cut back on my intake of Trashy things.
    (for example: Denny's, Monsters, Redbull...)

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” 
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Breath in for Luck.

Round II.
Here we go.