There should be a college class that teaches you how to say goodbye. I don’t care who you are, when it comes to the people you cherish most, saying goodbye is a challenge. I've never been in a situation quite like this. It’s fresh, exciting, and has me on my toes. A big part of me is so thrilled for this new chapter… Another part of me is pained with worry and disbelief.
I’m convinced that my insides are coated with butterflies. When people ask me how I’m feeling, I tell them I’m both excited and nervous. It’s like that feeling you get when you take that leap off a cliff into the lake. That brief moment your heart skips a beat when you hear “enjoy your ride” and the roller coaster jets off taking you with it. It’s the anticipation. That rush of euphoria.
I’m so full of emotions right now, they’re all colliding together and rushing to the surface. Some good and some bad. I’m trying my best to face the one at a time. There’s this hole inside me that’s aching as I realize what’s about to unfold. How do you leave the ones you love for two years? I feel so torn up inside. I don’t want to leave them behind. I can feel a part of me breaking. It hurts. So much.
Knowing the great people I’m leaving behind only strengthens my resolve to make it back home someday. I look at their faces and try my best to immortalize them in my mind. My skin may be clean, but my heart is permanently stained with tattoos of the people I love. Please know that I’m not abandoning any of you. I hope you’ll think of me often, because I’ll be thinking of you. I know there will be nights that tears will drench my pillow in thought of you. I’ll close my eyes and dream of home and hope that one day we will meet again…
Ok that’s enough sap. I got a little carried away there. Sorry. The point is, I just want you all to know how much you mean to me. I won’t be forgetting you, so don’t even worry about that. And it’s not like I’ll be dead. And it’s not the end of the world… although, I will still be gone IF the world actually ends in 2012. Crossing my fingers and hoping it doesn't. I still have a lot of unfinished business to attend to. In reality, this is not a goodbye, just a farewell for now. I’m committed to what I’m doing, and intend to put my whole heart into the work. I’ll miss You.
Fight the Good Fight,
-Garett
No, this is not goodbye.
